Last night I got home, flicked the light on by my front door and went to powder my nose and do my before bed routine. When I was all powdered up, it was time to call it a night. So I thought that rather than walking to my bedroom and turning on the light, I would turn off the light by the door and take a chance and walk to my room in the dark. This could save me about 20 seconds of walking and about 30 feet of a gruelling workout.
Before I turned off the light, I scanned my apartment floor. Just like the terminator, I uploaded all the data into the mainframe to ensure safe passage to the bedroom. So I turned off the light, and I said out loud, no word of a lie, "I'm a cat, I can see in the dark, I'm a cat." Just after I said that, down I went, I tripped over my footstool. I did laundry that day and that darn footstool was in the wrong place. It's usually by the foot of my chair, but today it was the left side of the chair with a few pairs of pants piled on it.
You see, cats can manoeuvre around in any condition. They are smart and they seem to adapt to any surroundings. My problem was that I was look down at cats, I really don’t like them. I think it’s time to start showing a little more respect for my mean feline friends.
I immediately started to limp, I injured my knee. Ouch, it hurt! There is a reason why I almost given up sports, is to protect my knee so I can focus on running. Without running, I am a mess. I will gain so much weight; the running helps me control my weight issues.
What am I gonna do now? So long for long romantic walks in the dark. I will never be able to have a blackout sneak attack. Or playing midnight hide and goose seek, ah man, those were fun times. I recall the time, when I was a kid, I was playing hide and goose seek outside in the dark, and I fell into a shit hole. You know, an outhouse hole. Sadly, the hole was cut into mother earth filled with fresh human feces just waiting for a victim...me. I still ask; where was the damn outhouse? Why was the hole unmarked?
Perhaps I should have taken the hint back then.
As I walked carefully into the porch, my mother stood there with a look of shock in her eyes. I will never forget her carefully thought out words “what the hell happened to you?”
Before I turned off the light, I scanned my apartment floor. Just like the terminator, I uploaded all the data into the mainframe to ensure safe passage to the bedroom. So I turned off the light, and I said out loud, no word of a lie, "I'm a cat, I can see in the dark, I'm a cat." Just after I said that, down I went, I tripped over my footstool. I did laundry that day and that darn footstool was in the wrong place. It's usually by the foot of my chair, but today it was the left side of the chair with a few pairs of pants piled on it.
You see, cats can manoeuvre around in any condition. They are smart and they seem to adapt to any surroundings. My problem was that I was look down at cats, I really don’t like them. I think it’s time to start showing a little more respect for my mean feline friends.
I immediately started to limp, I injured my knee. Ouch, it hurt! There is a reason why I almost given up sports, is to protect my knee so I can focus on running. Without running, I am a mess. I will gain so much weight; the running helps me control my weight issues.
What am I gonna do now? So long for long romantic walks in the dark. I will never be able to have a blackout sneak attack. Or playing midnight hide and goose seek, ah man, those were fun times. I recall the time, when I was a kid, I was playing hide and goose seek outside in the dark, and I fell into a shit hole. You know, an outhouse hole. Sadly, the hole was cut into mother earth filled with fresh human feces just waiting for a victim...me. I still ask; where was the damn outhouse? Why was the hole unmarked?
Perhaps I should have taken the hint back then.
As I walked carefully into the porch, my mother stood there with a look of shock in her eyes. I will never forget her carefully thought out words “what the hell happened to you?”
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